martedì 15 marzo 2011

Picking Up Ladies, Italian Style

The two delightful host of Tilted Halo Cast, ViVi and Rhian asked me on their latest show about some Italian pick up lines translated in english.

I am a pick up artist, as all italians are. We are taught the art of getting to a lady's heart with one simple sentence, a few minutes after we're born. Our Fathers actually put us to the test right in the hospital with the sexier toddlers. Failure equals being thrown away.

It's a though gig, but its the only way to ensure that we have people cooking for us and raising our babies.

So, enough exposition and let me show you some of my favourite and effective Pick Up Lines, translated in your gross, unromantic and culturally insensitive language. Use them with care, cause they never fail, and you wanna leave some lady for the others too.

- "Nice Legs! What's Opening Time?"

- "Are you A Circus Seal? Cause I really would love you to play with my balls"

- (call a waitress to your table) "See? I Just made you come with one finger. Imagine what i can do with TEN!"

- "Hey i am an organ donor. Do you want my best one?"

- "Your father is a thief. He stole two stars and used them as your eyes!" (BAAAAAARF. Sorry. Too much sexiness)

- "My friends call me Tripod. Wanna see why?"

- "You must be a light switch, cause you turn me on" (BEUUUUURKKKKKK. Sorry, must be the cold)

Ok, theres more but i need to take a break before i cry desperately. Get ready to have all the ladies in town and buy lots of shoes.

Nessun commento:

Posta un commento