giovedì 10 marzo 2011

How To Defeat A Bad Day

Everyone has a really bad day. It happens to me one day out of two. Sometimes you even think of doing something terrbile and extreme, like locking your twitter account or posting a tirade on facebook and unfriend everyonbe afterwards, but dont go that far, there's solutions. All you need is a powerful immagination:

- Make a list of stereotypes about countries and think of the ones that partain to the infamour 10% of truth. Example: Canadians are polite and they say "aye" and "aboat", Californians are mellow and they elongate the last part of words, British people are smart, Italians are sleazy and eat pizza for breakfast, Black ladies say HMMHMMM in theatres, Brits think they're funny but they really arent and the French are scumbags.

- Start Insane projects that no one else would think of. Example: A show where you can go spank annoying undisciplined kids and belittle them (title "The Toddler Whisperer"?), a fiction based in the ficitonal town of "Your Mom, Louisiana", a comedy act where all jokes have no punchline and end with "Pull my finger" or "That's what your AIDS infected sister said!"

- Find a porn niche that hasnt been exploited yet on the internet, defeating the rule that any perversion has. Example: Is there a website for people that like to have sex with garden gnomes. Look it up.

- Blame everything that's happening to you on one single person or entity and start plotting horrifying revenge on them. NOTE: the enemy must be unreachable or a tequila night could turn bad.

- Create weird lolcats that shout offensive racial slurs and say horrible stuff but are sooo cute.

- Look up an ex Girlfriend/Boyfriend and invadce their facebook page with weird non-sequitur posts, until they block you

- Pull a repulsive prank at work, so repulsive that all your coworkers will wake up and cry tonight

There's more.... You figure them out.

3 commenti:

  1. Questo commento è stato eliminato dall'autore.

  2. Found your blog on twitter. A good read but how can you say the British aren't funny :(

  3. hehehe i appreciate british humour, my point was more about specific people. noticed that the brits i know are way convinced to be funnier than they really are.

    also it was a random jab. mostly for comedic/button-pushing effect. still love the uk.