He is usually that guy who sits next to you and makes your day longer. He isnt a bad person, at all. But he is empty as a charlie sheen coke bag. He doesnt really care about anything, he's burnt out, jaded, stressed and offensively ingorant and apthetic. He isnt very good at what he does, merely survives by competence. He resents everything and everyone and expresses it with his monotone pointless statements ("heh fuck, whatchagonnado"). Opens the days asking you five questions about you, never listens to the answers. Cant do shit and usually fucks up stuff. Dont get angry, his existence is worthy as the doormat's one. Probably less.
This one is actually smart. Knows stuff, is genuinely helpful at first, can be an amazing work partner, and you can have decent conversation with him sometimes. Smiles a lot, almost constantly. Has a chirpy attitude, motivational stuff on their desk, picture of their kids on their desktop. Throws a lot of office parties. Still, when the time comes, they will destroy you. They will talk shit about you, backstab you, steal your work,. try to harm your career and life, diffuse rumours, sabotage you. And if you react indignantly, they will mon you until you go crazy. Best solution? Be Like Them. Smile, but watch out. Always.
Not particularly competent or funny but he sticks out for one thing: hes a gross pig. He has the worst jokes, porn pictures on his computer, made up tales of sexual perverisity (of the bad kind, not funny. lots of times they involve prostitutes, booze and STD's). If youre a lady he will almost raoe you, until you threaten him. Then he will run away, cause like all that type of guys, he's a coward. He's often married with dominat angry women and is totally pussywhipped in private
The Angry Ass
This guy has an opinion about any topic, usually wrong and he will shout it repeatedly. He is sublimely ignorant about everything but as the true ignorants, he thinks the little he knows is superior knowledge. Generally reads pointless factoids while hes on the shitter or prentending to work and creates giant fucked up theories or beliefs on those.. The proceeds to shout said stuff at anyone, shouting louder if they dont agree. Big conspiracy theorist. Duh.
The Misunderstood Wannabe Genius
This fella has no competence, smarts or special ability whatsoever but he thinks hge does. So he overcompensates with poser attitude. Usually he thinks hes a potential minion but he doesnt have the actual balls to be one. Has some weird, pointless role, like "Creative assistent". Dress like an art critic, doesnt shave, smokes a lot, is neurotic, flirts with everyone but is often sexually inadequate, brags a lot about past adventures that never happened. Writes some amazingly convoluted memos that look like Surrealist Poems and end up being about the coffee pot needin refills.
Ok, fags. Add your own, and comment if you like. Or not