Have you ever been part of a "Scene"?
Well, ok, i'm aware that maybe this type of old man lingo might sound alien or outdated to the younger ears between you. Let me explain.
Before internet became the main tool of communication and "virtual communities" started to pop out and enable tyhe glueing between complete strangers that in most cases shouldnt have ever met, the main instrument to survive the utter boredom of living in suburbia without turning to the ovecrowded and hyper expensive clubs, was entering a "Scene".
Where other people spent their free t9ime going where most people went, hung out there paying a shitton of money for drinks and if they were lucky they got laid, but in most cases they just got high or drunk, scene people did that but in a setting where you hung out with people with a common interest, or proclivity towards a certain look or attitude.
My own "scene" of choice was, for years, the Glam Rock/Hair Metal Scene. Metal Heads were too ugly and isolated, dance music people were a bunch of trashy messes and got more high then blown in bathrooms and going to parties to hear Motley Crue and Guns N Roses, dressed up to kill, was fucking fun.
You met interesting people, listened to a whole lot of cool tunes, saw great live bands, got pretty and dressed as a rockstar and met girls who maybe werent as sexual as they wanted to appear but still, could give youa good time and werte fun to hang out with. Lot of high hells, stockings, make up, bathroom sex, booze, coke, bisexuality and guitar riffs. That was cool enough to make your life great and your head aching in the morning. The days went away while you were waiting for the nights to soar.
Yet, time goes by, and i had to give up, for many reasons. Deporession, too much alcohol, the need for a change of air. Couldnt party as hard as i used to. i got tired, mentally exhausted. Life broke me down and the energy i had needed to be devoted to rebuild my mental strength, instead of taking excessive care to my look, buying cool clothes, building my image. Going out as John Travolta did in Saturday Night Fever, knowing that the night was going to be the time to strut and be watched, the moment of greatmness before the sea of mnediocrity of the week, was great, but also destructive.
I needed to disappear. And i did. Listened to other things, found different communities, changed.
Few nights ago, i did a comeback, by mere chance. Michael Monroe, one of the icons of those times, was playing clòose to my home, and the whole Scene would've been there. It could have been a celebration, not necessarily a comeback, but a good test for my ability to still have fun into the old settings. And while the natural dramatic ending to this story would be a tragic one, where i learn that my new life is better and everyone has moved on, that wouldnt be correct.
I had fun. Slept too little, listened to good music and.... examined how things develop under the power of time.
Still, i had to experiment a few survival techniques, which you might iuse too, if you8 ever try something similar:
- If you moved away from one of those scenes where you all knew each other, hung out at every possible oiccasion and used to see each opther more than your own families, theres a good chance that a lot of people will remember you. You wont remember them, though. Youy probably replaced their face files in your brain with new onesx, maybe they didnt. So they will either treat you like a traitor and ignore you in an overt manner (which is perfectly fine, since you can ignore them back, enjoying the fine art of being rude) or try to strike a conversation. In the last sad occurrence, you will have to practice your "oh yeah, i remember you" face. Needs practice, smile a lot, and dont stare too long. If they catch you or you openly admit your failure, the problem wont be awkwardness but the angry despair that will filll them after the realization that oiut there, people dont know who they are, or if they do, its not that important.
- If you actually strike a conversation expecta lot of "whats new" and "how you doin". Nothing wrong with that but it might feel weird when you got married, had 3 kids and they all got exterminated by a serial killer hippo a year ago. Some wont be aware of that. People who are obsessively part of a scene live in their own bubbles and ignore anything that happens outside of it (sometimes even inside of it, since they often are in an advanced state of mental decay). So if back then you had a partener with whom you broke up hastily and you show up without them, they will ask. If the partner was the main person, the questions will be downright brutal ("Noooooooo. He was soooo cooooool."). They will try to console you to get in your pants and bust your balls all over. Get ready to go back in time and be patient.
- If they are the one witha troubled life, they will tell you. If they broke up a year ago with a long time lover, they will get drunk, tell you everything and bore you shitless, even if you already knew. See, nothing is better for a depressed person than new people to cry with, so you will have to nod and be sympathetic. Maybe listen to the same points a few times, if the case is very pathetic. In this case be patient too. Choose if it's the case to get sympathy fucks or not. It could be very sad and ugly and drag you back into a weird place
- It doesnt matter if you realized that the music you listened to sucked ass and you think that dressing that way ius retarded. DO NOT TELL THAT TO ANYONE: These people are like War Vet who got shellshocked and think the world is still how it was 30 years ago. they are probably balòding, fat, wrinkled and most of what they put 99% of their hjeart into is outdated and ridiculous. their outfits look weird on them and when they stare you down like you're insane for becoming "normal", you'll have to shrug that off. Its their life, it's what keeps them standinh. You arent better than them because you changed as much as they arent better than you cause they didnt. Its happenstance. Relive the good times and the bad ones as a half outsiders. you might even enjoy it. Dont be snarky and cynical, no need for that.
See thats the main point. You had fun. Time convinced you that you have "matured" or "aged". You didnt. You have changed. Maybe for better or maybe for worse. Still you used to be one of them and you used to love it. Dont forget that and dont act superior. You'll never be superior no matter what. Fun is what it's all about.