lunedì 16 maggio 2011

Cleaning Out The Closet

It's still spring right? I cant figure out the middle seasons, as long as there isnt snow on the ground and im not on vacation, i cant really pinpòoint spring. Anyway, that means Spring CLeaning time, right?

Wait before you run away, thinking i'm about to list my favourite detergents, my main point today is one type of clean-up i think everyone should do at some point, and spring, since it comes before the whimsical joys of summertime, its a good moment to do it.

I'm talking about excessive human clean-up.

Yeah. You got it. I dont mean that in a nazi-like way. Not at all. What i mean is, picking a day and a moment and get rid in a definitive manner of people you dont need, that are a burden to you or simply that have no point being dragged into your existence because they dont contribute in any way to it.

I think that refreshing your contacts on twitter or any social network, giving a clean up of your phone book or any list of contacts, is basically a marvelous metaphoric way to do it. Lots of times, the actions that you do through intertnet, to virtual contacts and disembodied people are very close to the sort of actions you should do in day to day living, only made easier by the haziness and lack of actual emotional responses behind them. In easier terms you can get rid of someone more easily if you dont see their faces or hear their voices.

Cutting off relationship in an absolute way is still hard, but when it comes to unneeded people, you have to free your life from excess baggage. Your daily survival requires you to think of yourself first and eventually the ones yoiu love. If you're a person who likes to be generous and caring for others, you are a treasure but deep inside your heart you know that somehow that is taking a toll on you.

So what i am advising here isnt to become a hermit and tell everyone to fuck off. Just take a moment, during a good day and do this:

- List down your contacts or take an already existing list. The very superficial ones can go already during the process. Unless you need them for working or practical purposes, you dont need their info or their numbers. Off they go.

- Now look at this list. Think of thew people you REALLY care about and NEED in your life. They have to be people that make your life better, that are there when you neewd them and not only when they need you. Peopèlew you think about and not only occasionally cause some automated alert reminded you it was their birthday. People you had an actual conversation of meaning in recent times. That have a role in your life. That have a positive purpose in your existence.

If you did this last step correctly, the list should be a lot shorter. Get rid of leeches, of people that you actually dislike, hate or dont really care about. Erase them, without thinking twice and being "nice". Being a good person doesnt mean keeping useless baggage or poison. You dont need 80% of the people you have in your existence. Some, you're forced to deal with, but they're like bad furniture, sooner or later, theyll get tossed away too.

Erase everything about them and never ever think about them again. Make it a goal to do so. Dont answer texts, emails or calls. No "merry christmas", "how is it going", "happy birthday".

To use a true story: if you make up a fake birthday on Facebook and people line up to say Happy Birthday, those people must go.

Dont fear the possibility of isolation. It wont happen. You'll find new people to waste time with, eventually and they'll get refreshed too when they cease to give you happiness. Kepp close the good ones and forget the rest. You do not need them.

After this simple process, you'll feel lighter. You might panic a bit, cause of guilt. But trust me: you're doing the right thing. Spring Cleaning. Now you're ready for the real summer.

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