I noticed an alarming fact, while looking up the picture for this post. Seems like every single blogger on the web's scaly and smelly surface has gone through or is going through right now a phase where they feel the need to "reset". Which usually means that they need fresh air in their lives, they got a new job which fills all their time, they got a wave of hate mail which convinced them to quit writing or they simply realized the utter truth about blogging or about expressing personal thoughts/views on any topic, anywhere. That truth is: no one cares. You might have a fan or two and be relatively popular, they might be good friends that admire you and like your writings, but that wont last, simply for the reason tyht people arent build to care for other people's thoughts, at least not permanently.
That said, i write this ONLY for myself, as i do most of what i do. So i doubt i will quit it any sooner, even if i have to admit that i've been desiring to lately, also for myself and not for anyone else.
There's something goin on. After years of utter mediocrity, my country seems to have decided to go and vote against the current government. That was as close as a sign of hope for the future, while still being remote, as ive seen in a long time.
And right after that, the negatives started popping up. Comments on how "nothing would ever change", how "all politicians are the same", and other forms of buzzkill.
And i have to say that these people are seducing. To give up everything is a powerful option, since letting go and surreendering either to whatever happens or even death, is defnitely less frustrating than fighting. And yet it doesnt work for me. Personally, i think that the best way to actually start moving towards a better time, is acting and getting rid of the hopeless and negative people. You have no hope? Go. You think having it is silly? Go.
And i'm feeling like that in daily life too. I have the feeling i have a lot of baggage which is slowing me down. I have people that dont help me moving on and only bring negativity to me. A lot of pointless connections that dont bring anything good, besides dxrama and arguing on things i dont care about. I might need to clean the slate and start over soon.
Ive been waking up wanting to die one time too many and its exhausting. I need to revalue things and try to understand what i want and need.
The blog will be on hiatus for a bit, probably. In the meantime, do whatever.