Modern Age Superheroes

Since i'm out of ideas today, but in no way i will be one of those guys who let their creativity go dry cause "they have more important thigs to do" (which i would technically have, but i wont do since i get paid way too little to not waste time doin silly shit), i will have to use the horrible hacky shortcut that is the "pop culture inspired list". I'm sorry cracked.com, i will never be as cool as you guys are.

Anyhoo, if any of you has been a kid at least once, you probably wasted your time making up superheroes in your head, maybe even drawing them (with titties and dicks, if you are a boy).

So why stop? The current age has a lot of cool possiblities to make up interesting superdudes. And it's also an extremely overused comedy routine, possibly worse than airplane food jokes, so lets rock.

Supermeh

He comes from an overpowered alien planet, he has incredible amazing powers that would allow him to change or rule the worldm and end crime. Only he doesnt really give a shit. After getting a secret identity as an accountant, he realized that he makes more money that way, its less risky, and his jewish momma is more ok with that. Plus who doesnt commit crimes? Its a dog eat dog world out there, full of them corrupt politicans. Its not like if he stops one crime, anything will change. So he just puts on his costumes to show off at parties. Lately his wife forgot to clean it, silly woman. Oh well. Jersey Shore is on.

Captain Pawn

He rides the thin line between a hero and a villain. He is a telepathic entity, that has incredibly deciving mindpowers. He can deceive his oppoinents into thinking that they will have sex with an incredibly beautiful woman, enlarge their genitals, see movies for free, become millionaires or, if they're genrous, help Nigerian people. Then when they're trapped, he fills their minds with visions of men with blown up anuses and Rick Astley songs.

For unsepcified reasons he took the shape of a cute kitten. Apparenbtly it makes his power even stronger, especially when he speaks in misspelled english

The Twister

This terrifying hero has the incredible ability of crating chaos into people's minds. When surrounded by enemies he twists their thoughts around, says incredibly conbvoluted things, contradicts himself and then accuses them of being homophobic, nazi, stalking, gay, communist, racist jews. While they're trying to figure out what the hell he is talking about, he kills them, usually with a big hammer.

A fierce threat, but its not really clear which side he's on.