I Got The Spark But What Of It?

I am not one that brags about his only creative ability, which in my case is writing. I dont consider myself gifted or talented. What i do possess is an overloaded brain and the major way to put my thoughts to rest is putting them into words. Also, since i am a person obsessed by music, almost to a pathological point, i used my writing to actually share the interest towards bands and things i love.

In simpler terms, i am a hyperchatty, ADD riddled spaz who uses a keyboard to give a tangible and stable form to his constant stream of ideas, thoughts, obsessions, so my brain doesnt collapse (again).

So that brings me to a point ive been pondering lately. A good number of people have been asking me for articles, reviews or any other written piece for their webpages. And that brought me back.

If you have a creative impulse (and all of you have one, you probably just have to find it) or a particular creative talent or passion, theres a bunch of ways you might find yourself using it:

- You might create as a therapy, as a way to heal your wounds or let the flow of your thoughts out of your head.

- You can create because the spark is there and whenever you do it, the spontaneous emission of that special feeling is like nothing else in the world. Everytime you make something, where a piece of you mutates and becomes something tangible that can be shared, your heart and head get in a spot that no one can understand if they never did it.

- You can create because you want to have something to show people. Everyone likes attention, even if they deny it. Everyone loves to be appreciated for what they do, especially for what they created. So there's always a bit of narcissism in every creative person.

That last bit, added to the general need for money or material for your working Resumé is what drives a lot of people in the sad world of going "pro".

And that's where a lot of hearts get crushed. Personally, writing professionally was a big diappointment to me. being a journalist hardly gets you any money, takes up a lot of time, has you facing the mertcurial requests of labels and musicians (who basically think of you as either a leech or a puppet that has to obey their orders) and has you hated by the public. It gives a bunch of small pleasures, especially if you're young, but it also has a high chance to destroy your passion for writing and what you're writing about.

Writing a novel. Aye. I published only one book, in a limited way, and put a lot of effort in the promotion department. Had interviews, press conferences, spots. And being a depressed mess, i didnt even enjoy it at the time. But the money spent in it, and the scarce feedback, the realization that becoming famous or making a living of it, was deifnitely a Utopia or simnply a road so long and tough that i just didnt have the guts to ride it, kinda made me run away from that.

It's similar when it comes to music, art or whatever you got: it's hard to make big money out of it. Almost impossible. It can be done, but the way is paved with people that will suck the passion out of you, disappointments and dead ends. Still the good times are worth the pain. If i had to do it all over again, i would. Differently maybe, more wisely. But then again, i would kill to have that reckless enthusiasm again.

I dont know if i can do it again, since i'm dry and tired. But if youre in it, DO NOT give up. EVER.