One rule, in my existence: do not give up until youre completely done. And when you're done, relax and say "fuck it". I am not writing that as a judgemental preachy thing. I literally have no rules in my existence. I have moral standards and i am passionate, that is true. But i also thing that anyone's choice is their own. I have the right to criticize them, thats part of the deal: freedom of choice and speech but also freedom of reaction and retaliation. But no rules. I take everything sexually, existentially and life wise. All i keep telling myself is to be resilient, like a cockroach with a big dick.
Still, there are moments that make even the strongest people want to give up. It isnt big tragedies usually. Those, make most stronger. Its quiet moment of utter slimy mediocrity that often repeat themselves over and over and over, corroding the ill to fight and positivity of a person until they become whats worst in this world: bitter.
They can all be recovered but they are unsettling:
- Morons Win
You can be a brilliant artist that created small jewels of heartbreaking beauty. You can be a tough spirited, unstoppable worker that has been devoted to what they do for years, accepting failure and learning from it, fighting relentlessly to have your place. You might be just a nice person that hjas a good heart and bears the innate cruelty of humans daily and stillò is able to love and give. But then you see a barely literate, racist, ignorant, lazy, incompetent slob named Biff, who loves to tell nigger jokes, has 5 kids but doesnt provide cause he likes to be on welfare, is a whiny hypocondriac that abuses medicines cause he knows the doctor, and seems to not do shit at work but yet gets promoted more than you and makes fun of your stress constantly. He wins, cause morons and asshole seem to always triumph. Not cause the system is corrupt but just because they dont really care about anything or anyone and that seems to be the highest power in this universe.
- Technology Kills
You can be the greatest genius on earth or the most organized person, but machines are mercurial pices of unpredictable catastrophe that will fuck your life up for good, anytime, no matter what. True, the tech experts love to say that their machine doesnt do that or that they can avoid it cause they're copol. Yeah they'll tell you "Duh" but at some point, it woill happen to them too, and they will tear up like abused toddlers in a corner of their room, while their perfect toy destroys all their work. It does not matter how machine like people trryu to be, the computers, cars and phones of this world will destroy them. Cause thats what they are really there for.
- "Money, Get Away..."
Of course, love is a many splendoured thing, and sex is number one but the root of everything is money. To ensure the survival of all things good, you need money. Lots of it, constantly. Increasingly. Whether its to pay for your own survival, to face accidents, to do simple thigns that costs more and more, to do ANYTHING, you need money. And, as most things that are needed and vital, money is scarce and disappears quickly. You keep loosing it, for things that have almost no logic or result.
- The Machine Eats The Good Ones
Almost as an opposite to my first point, it seems that good people cant catch a break. You probably have one of those instances somewhere. A person that, for once, really deserves happiness and gets mostly tons of shit delivered with a bow. Not only by luck but also by people. Cause it seems that the majority of people love to prey on the good ones and the weak. And do it with a smile. Its the polite ones you gotta watch.
All of those things, though arent a reason of defeat. they feel like it, but no matter what, someone out there loves you and cares for you. If not for yourself, which i still the thing you shall prize the most because you are the best thing you will ever meet, do it for them. No matter how low you feel, those things dont devalue anything. You just get back stronger and angrier. You win.