Maybe It's That Time Of The Year....

I noticed an alarming fact, while looking up the picture for this post. Seems like every single blogger on the web's scaly and smelly surface has gone through or is going through right now a phase where they feel the need to "reset". Which usually means that they need fresh air in their lives, they got a new job which fills all their time, they got a wave of hate mail which convinced them to quit writing or they simply realized the utter truth about blogging or about expressing personal thoughts/views on any topic, anywhere. That truth is: no one cares. You might have a fan or two and be relatively popular, they might be good friends that admire you and like your writings, but that wont last, simply for the reason tyht people arent build to care for other people's thoughts, at least not permanently.

That said, i write this ONLY for myself, as i do most of what i do. So i doubt i will quit it any sooner, even if i have to admit that i've been desiring to lately, also for myself and not for anyone else.

There's something goin on. After years of utter mediocrity, my country seems to have decided to go and vote against the current government. That was as close as a sign of hope for the future, while still being remote, as ive seen in a long time.

And right after that, the negatives started popping up. Comments on how "nothing would ever change", how "all politicians are the same", and other forms of buzzkill.

And i have to say that these people are seducing. To give up everything is a powerful option, since letting go and surreendering either to whatever happens or even death, is defnitely less frustrating than fighting. And yet it doesnt work for me. Personally, i think that the best way to actually start moving towards a better time, is acting and getting rid of the hopeless and negative people. You have no hope? Go. You think having it is silly? Go.

And i'm feeling like that in daily life too. I have the feeling i have a lot of baggage which is slowing me down. I have people that dont help me moving on and only bring negativity to me. A lot of pointless connections that dont bring anything good, besides dxrama and arguing on things i dont care about. I might need to clean the slate and start over soon.

Ive been waking up wanting to die one time too many and its exhausting. I need to revalue things and try to understand what i want and need.

The blog will be on hiatus for a bit, probably. In the meantime, do whatever.

Holidays in Dumbodia

I am sure that everyone of you fellas act all geumpy and grinchey about holidays and how they're stupid and corporate but secretly rejoice gleefully (as in gay like Glee) when those time of the year comes.

Nothing wrong about it. I hate family gathering but i do not hate Christmas, Easter or Valentine's Day. Well that last one is a bit strange to celebrate, mostly cause needin one specifc day to celebrate your love makes me think you dont really love the person, but i'm controversial (but always right). And honestly, even if i despise most of them, i understand the patriotic american holidays, although i dont get why should i give two fucks about the fourth of july if i'm european....

That said, i think everyone should exercise our creativity, as usual, in the Making Angels Cry, by making up new things to improve the world. And that means, new Holidays for a new less geography, religion, calendar restricted world. Time to have holidays everyone can celebrate! Excuses to stay away from work! To have parties! To send handmade cards! Horrah!

Fuck Your Family Day

All holidays are somehow devoted to the celebration of family. You have to do horrifying lunches with your parents and relatives and smile at the tales Grandma weaves about her cat having diarrhea. Or have to bear Mom getting drunk and unleashing verbal abuse on everyone.

Let's have a holiday where we celebrate how family iosnt really important and how we can lovingly live without it. Cards with pictures of turds, containing brutal revelations ("Dad touched me at night, mom. happy FYF day"). No visits allowed, destrucion of old presents you didnt like from past holidays, fuck you calls. Like all holidays everything that happens in it has no consequence.

Self Love Day

Have a whole day devoted to YOU! Give yourself presents! Masturbate a lot! Cook stuff you like! Go to places only you like! Spend the whole day watching stuff no one cares about! Be moody and obnoxious! Its like being pregnant but for both sexes and an offical holiday!

Also its maybe the only actual holiday when you are allowed to be a complete asshole to everyone and not feel bad about it.

Its also a great day to end bogus friendships and relationships. Think about yourselves, you can only do it today!

Anti Baby Day

Since most holidays are all about babies (with maybe the exception of Valentine's day, unless we want to go metaphorical and realize Valentine Day lovers are babies), we should create a holiday that is NOT for them or about them. For once, the whole day will be devoted to the love of a childess life, to sexual acts that dont bring to reproduction (a whole Series of ads that celebrate oral sex, fetishes and butt play! yay!). Free abortion coupons,. Full nights and diners where babies arent allowed and couples are allowed for one day in the whole sad year, to get time for themselves!

That will never work, but its nice to dream.

Natural Rememdies For The Homicidal Blues

Dennis Leary, during one of the few times wheere he wasnt ripping off jokes from Bill Hicks, said "Happiness is a moemnt, a spurt that lòasts a few seconds. A chocoalate, an orgasm and then you're back to the misery". I kinda agree.

It's hard, almost impossible to define a life as "happy" or "perfect". One can be adjusted, satisfied, have more good moments than bad but i'm seriously suspicious towards people who say "they have a happy life".

A bit of hurt is a fundamental component of a functional soul. Dysfunction is part of a heart that isnt completely hardened. You might "enjoy" your life and be happy about the people that surround you and your life choices but if you think you're "very happy" and you find unhappiness wrong or weird, than you probably lack something or you have made yourself deaf to a natural component of human nature.

As i said, whining and random complaining cannot be defined as real depression, but yet the real deal is something that has the potential to start inside every person. The act of surviving is a long, bumpy road, filled with obstacles that arent necessarily bad moments or traumatic events. The most dangerous bumps are related, for me, to human interactions. Its natural for anyone to put a lot of meaning into interactions with people but that will often bring pain. To interact with others, you need to trust them and most people abuse trust. Most people arent evil but they are egotistical. They will use another individual, especiually a close one that loves them or gives tham a lot, as long as they can take good out of it, but they will drop it once they feel comfortable and move on. Its a part of life, but it hurts.

People tend to identify "breakups" as the worst moments of life, mostly cause the heart tends to put a lot of importance into relationships, especially the deep ones where the word "love" comes into play and in the serious way. Yet, if you observe it, life is a series of breakups. You breakup with family, with friends, with jobs and every single time theres an amount of pain, cruelty, denialand from one or the other side, coldness. Thats how some people either become really depressed or really mean. Some have it in them. Others learn. Others just break after the final siappointment and spiral into a series of medical prescription, bade advice and going numb through substance.

Most pills will fuck your head up and cause a chain of fixings. The first ones will have side effects, that youll have to fix with other pills and so on, until none of them really works and you're spending most of your money into chemical crap that makes you a drug addict.

That might be a way, youll have to go through. Sometimes the head chemicals are beyond repair and you wont be able to avoid the medication route. Everyone wants to, but sometimes you have no choice. Yet, sometimes you do.

For my personal experience, a bit opf numness is good. You have to gain a good level of indifference to things and people in order to live in a decent way. The heart is frail and it can be broken with no possibility of repair., so be careful. Consider that most of your friendships are not going to last. That almost all relationships end and even the people you put on a pedestal could possibly fuck you up for good ina few hours. It's not going to save you from hurting but it means whatever happens, it wont be the last time and if you're aware, it will hurt gradually less.

Plus, stick and stones and consider the source. Of everything. Some epople just lack the conept of respect and will try to stab you woith words or trying to purposefully destroy, because they can. Just know that this is a possibility, with everyone , and be oreoared when it happens. And fuck the high road. Hit them back.

Dreams are hard to achieve, jobs are hard to keep and they hardly give you satisfaction. If you get money and it sucks try to stick with it and sue the money for doing things you like. Travel, have poarty, invest in your passions. Have passions, ap'athy is death. COnsider the cubicle time as a necessary evil to get where you want. Shrug it off, that way. And if things really break down, remember that you can survive anything. every person has a chance to rebuild themselves, thats one of the few redeeming factors about people. Theres always a way to get back on your feet. It might be unpleasant but it will help you get over the bad times and gain weapons to fight.

Keep the good one close when times are tough. Enjoy the silliness and wonder of having them. Be goofy, make plans. Even plans that are hard to realize. Keep your feet in the dirt and your head between the stars. And enjoya bit of meanness towards the ones who deserve it. Some people are assholes and live well with it, but most assholes are miserable.

And no matter how horrifying the moment is, if you wait abit, something great will happen. nothing is final. Ever.

Allow Me To Burst Your Bubble

After the extreme and love filled post i did yesterday, maybe its time to reduce the levles of fuzziness in our hearts and reflect about reality with a bit more cynicism.

I have nothing against cynicism on its own. I hate pwoplw who allow their cynicism to become the most of them and turn into apathy or open cruelty. That is disguting. Being a realist or a level headed person, doesnt mean regularly stomping other people's hopes, because your own brain is unable to think outside its own oxygen deprived box.

Still, excessive idealists and dreamers sometimes are even worse. I dont know if you ever met one of those people that, thanks to an easy life that has allowed them to cultivate their desires, passions and aspirations, have found themselves conivnced that their rosy tinted world is thje only reality and everyone who is a bit more realistic, is bitter. The people who tell you that "your job shouldnt be about the money but about fulfilling your dreams". Yeah those people. The non-struggling artists and non-fighting ideals.

Besides the obvious lack of respect and realism that shows its mug in their statements, a common feeling i always have with those people is how they lack a bit of cynicism, the good kind. The one that allows to get on a level where you actually DO things and are not lost in the magnificient world of Tralala land.

I had this, in my mind while reading an article which pointed out the presumed importance in the future of the "Singularity" effect, which assumes that in some years, scientific progress will blow up (according to cyclical history) and bring an abrupt evolution in mankind, with the good and bad sides of it.

That sprung a series of thoughts in my head on how sometimes, most of idealistic concepts and myths should be severely downsized, in order to regain a correct vision of reality, which might allow us to pay more attention to where we are now.

Science might go into new directions, but do not expect the big issues to be solved: the main diseases might get a cure but the pharamaceutical companies will fight to the teeth to avoid that. There's a higher chance we WONT see a cure for AIDS or cancer than seing one. So it would be more logical and productive to fight for awareness on illness, improving the conditions of the ill people, prolongin their life, reducing the symptoms, preventing the cuases. People should learn to live with diseases and cope with them with improved strength and support, instead of waiting for a miracle to come. Stop allowing pharamas to drop pills that arent needed and force them into focusing on stuff that works, even experimental ones. Less yapping and maybes, more facts.

There wont be any space colonization, people wont go to live on other planets, we wont get world peace and conquer the universe. Sorry.

Technology is going into the bellic direction. War is something that will always be there as self destruction is a component of mankind and its probably the strongest one. There will always be death, murder and destruction and entire countries which starve or cease to exist because of that. And as beautiful as it looks, NASA is already at its ropes, by sheer lack of interest by the public and funding.

It is hard to survive in this world when you have a dreaming heart, especially if you're one that l.ooks at the stars and feels his heart soar. But you have to take into account that people are, for the complete majority stupid, ignorant, and cruel. No one really cares anymore about any sort of actual progress. All people want is to be entertained into numbness, feel safe (thats what the excessive militasry use is for), feel superior (thatss what conspiracies are for) and feel free to hate each other in various degree.

People will not get better. There's more and more ignorance daily. The majority is settling into religion and spirituality which are, no matter how you see it, a refuge against fear of the unknown and a series of made up points about what COULD happen after death. The logical answer would be not thinking about the afterlife and living in the present, with dignity, respect and tolerance. But that isnt happening, since people are terrified of letting others free of making their choices anbd take solace into religions that set medieval rules on what to think or do.

So the few ones that actually have love and respect should give up hoping for change and try to hold on to each other, tight.

Most loves wont last. It sounds bitter but its true. Nothing lasts forever. You might find the one, but in most cases you will find the right one right now. Everything ends so living day by day is the best choice.

Your dreams might not come true. You might not achieve success, become rich or famous. People with way less talent than you might outdo you in what you tried to achieve. But if theres one thing i know, is that passions feed on themselves. Like real love for people. Loving your crafty, your passions is something that keeps youa live, even when frustration takes over. So it makes the present bearable if not the future.

See, my cyncicism is more of a "no day but today". If that wasnt a quote froma weird musical about gay hipsters, id say it.

There Might Be Light Beyond The Horizon

One: i'm aware that happy posts about positivity are frankly creepy and disgusting, as much as ultra negative ones, so, my fellow followers, try to take this one as an expression of me acknowledging that there still might be a glimmer of good in the darkness and a possibility for hope.

Two: the even that triggered this wave of feel good i'm trying to enjoy, doesnt involve me directly but a person i consider more than close, almost a good half of me. And even if people who think they know me, often label me as "egotistical", "self absorbed" and an asshole, i had more genuine happiness from this than i had in ages. Still, its not something that i have the right to describe in detail, so i'll try to express my feelings in general terms.

I am not going through a great time. There's a lot of frustration in my life, a sense of dryness. I am not satisfied with many choices i made and i need more means (especially economic) to do what i want with my future. And i often have the feeling i am not understood by a lot of people around me. Not in a victimistic way, simply as a consequence of my lack of patience for explaining things that cannot be easily solved and the side effects of my distress (for example a sever case of the shut ins, due to chronic tiredness).

Still, lat night, i learned that the strongest fighter i mert in my life, a lioness, a sweet hearted warrior with so many battle scars its not even cool, finally got a break. The system, the same society that always refused to acknowledge her and her need for help and awareness, apparetnly changed its mind and decided to help her. To, in metaphoric terms, hold her hand for this trip. She will get the help she deserves to grow stronger.

She's been improving, fighting, regaining her speed, striking back while still hurting, in the last years. She has never bowed down to the bad stuff that tried to break her, actually finding the energy to still be a strong person.

Yet, she needed help from people that could give her the means to survive and improve more. And up to now, and enraging wave of indifference seemed to rule. But yesterday, seems that her fairy charm also became a lucky one and suddenly things got full of hope for a future. If not a completely happy one, a hopeful one, where people are human again and care for others.

As i was trying to share this news with someone i know, this morning, i noticed that assholes are still there. Answer was "why do you care?". Because i love her. And because even if i would've fought until my hands turned into bloody stumps if i had to, and stood by her no matter what, knowing that she will not be alone and will be taken care of, is filling me with hope for better things and better people. And feeling her happy and overhwelmened, with a racing hearty, even if it was only on a series of typed words on a screen, made me feel true joy as i havent felt it in a long time.

Judge that as you wish. I dont need any approval.

Old Words, New Tricks

I'm far from a conservative or traditionalist guy. I'm all for fucking up the extabilished order of things and experimenting with, let's say, the ingredients of logic and life, to see what kind of results you get. But i'm also a person who is really in love with the emotional value that some conncepts or words have and i noticed with a little bit of bitter disappointment, how the few lines i like to draw in my reality are getting thin, fuzzy and confusing.

Yesterday, while reading some news, for example, i noticed a series of comments on the recent hacker attack on Sony's networks, and the lack of new information on their reaction. I wont go as far as commenting on the fact itself, but i noticed how many of the people who dropped their opinion loved to use the word "uprising" and "revolt".

Those two words have a strong meaning to me. By being an ex-social worker and a very socially conscious man, i am aware on how in, some places, the idea of "revolting" against an injustice, whetger it's a big or a small one is a powerful one. An uprising is an action, expressed concretely or through taking stances that might be risky or uncomfortable. Sometimes dangerous or even deadly.

Seeing the new jaded generation, who hardly has to fight for anything (and i'm aware of how "old-man-ish" this sounds, but it's true) and thinks a job, freedom of expression, money, food, equality and democracy are something you can take for granted, express disdain for things they're not really owed and use the concepts of reolution, revolt, boycotting and injustice to talk about it, gives me the creeps.

My country is going through a devastating moment of crysis. Both economical and social. unemployement is at scary rates. The job offers come from shady places and dont guarantee the minimal requirements to substain the increased price of living. Survival is a daily struggle. The acts of protest, revolt, voting are often dangerous and snarked at by an apthetic majority who'd rather run away or surrender to the negativity to gain some sort of sell out comfort which oftens goes away after a few. People sell out , only to find themselves severely fucked after a while.

Peopel are revolting somewhere but there's a silence cap on them. So seeing people have better conditions but act like they're not a big deal disgusts me.

Also. I will be called sexist for this but i dont understand the new idea of sex roles and the conept of family that is ruling the later generations. I keep seeing weak men and angry women that complain about having to do things that are supposed to be a pleasure or a part of life. Women that refuse to take care of their children after having them. That refuse to have anything female in their life roles. That refusae to be identified with anything feminine but feel hurt if they're treated in a non-lady way.

I see men being weak, childish and whiny. Refusing to have a minimal strength or an interest into providing security for their loved ones. Staying locked into a permanent state of childhood.

I see kids complaining how their parents disappoint them and yet refuseing to detach from them and acting as adults.

That might be a conservative view, a cranky one. But i knwo of people who fight to have normal, common lives, in spite of the difficulties presented to them. Gay people who want to form a families. People who cant have kids and try to care for them. Men and women trying hard to have a role while evrythign arounfd them is wanting to squeeze them. So when i see people having possibilities, love and chances and complaining those are not enough, i get sickened.

People are indifferent and spoiled. The generations before them fought to make them comfortable and free from any trouble, so they made up problems that have no meaning and labeled them wqith old words that for other people really means something: health, hunger, oppèression, lack of love, despair, depression, injustice, racism, hate. They cry as an oppressed bunch when they were never stuck into anything in their life. Maybe its time to be harsher and harder.

Let's Change The World By Mass Extermination

If you read this, my next statement might sound suyrprising: i have a severt contempt towards constantly angry people. I have a fiery temper, i get extremely pissed at small things and i usually live in a permanent state of furious disappointment and raging frustration, fueled by liters of coffee. Yet everytime i hear or read someone going on a monotone ramapge on how people suck and how said person is about to snap and kill everyone, my first reaction is to consider said person a sad sack, weho probably has no real reasons to get angry, has naturally weak psyche and focuses his frustration in a constant riover of angry staments, cause it's the only way to put them . And they usually hope someone is out there to listen and possibly does the horrendous mistake of reacting, even gently to their ouytpuring of freeform negativity.

Yet, as i leanred thorugh life, most people dont really have so many problems, if they do, they deal with them in private or talk about them with a few selected ones. Or in a low key manner. The ones who constantly cry or scream how they're just an inch from snapping at least five times a day, are usually pussies. And if theres still some logic left in the world, they will be left alone ranting.

That said i am also convinced that in an incresing number of daily situations, people need to be shot and killed without legal consequences. Since punching people in the nose is a legal trouble starter (and those are a chore, since lawyers are actually demons from the Nth circle of hell who make money by turning skirmishes into life destroying messes), i think there should be a quota for legal homicides. An ever expanding number of people deserves to be shot and put out of the universe for Darwinian Improvement. As a cure against mediocrity and misery.

I'll make a few examples, so you can follow my logic or just shake your head in disdain and feel superior before you post how you wanna kill yopurself since you have a leg cramp.

- Child Molesters and Rapists: These fellas should be a given, but you would be surprised at how many still refuse to accept that they dont contribute with anything positive to society. Lets just get rid of them and feed them to starving children, in a Dantesque fashion.

- Pro-Lifers: if Jesus is so important to you that you need to stick in front of clinics where they're doing is alowing women to make the choice they're entitled to do, as human being with rights (and no a fetus isnt a human being and has no rights. fact), scream insults and not listen to logical reasoning, let me help you rech your saviour faster. Be a martyr and go, you're wasting my oxygen

- Homophobes Of all Levels, including the closeted ones: to be clear, i am not counting only rampant gay bashers in this category. I am aiming even more at people who declare themselves ad tolerant and open minded but then say they find "gayness" irritatiung, refuse to approve same sex marriage, laugh at homosexuals, make homophobic jokes that arent funny (i like gay jokes too, but you stating how "fags dies of aids" isnta joke, refuse to acknowledge that homosexuality isnt a choice, that transgeneders are what they feel they are and not what their body is and that you're not "telling it like it is" but you're just an ingorant piece of shit.... Then your existence on the planet has no purpose.

- People who take their frustration on their children: i dont care if you think you're parent of the year. If you ever thought even for a second that your child is responsible for you not doing what you wanted to do in life, made him ro her feel resposnibel for your failures, gave him guilt for not being up to your expexctations, forced him to do things he didnt want to do cause you wanted to have alittle you but better.... You need to be castrated and hung in front of you porch.

- People who think animal cruelty is ok, cause its just animals and the opposite: i cant stand anyone who justifies their own sadistic nature and inflicting torture to animals as "a normal thing". I dont give a fuck if you were rised by some psychotic inbred who taught you that beating your dog to death is good, you cant. And i dont care if you had a kid and suddenly you dont feel the same parental love for your pets anymore, you still have to care for them. Every animal is a creature with feelings, you dont have to be an animal lover to understand this. Its a matter of decency. Being cruel to animals, or thinking that its not a big deal is a symptom of being a sociopath. So i dont need you.

On a similar topic but on the opposite side, i have no place for people who obsess over their pets or animals so much that they forget nhow to have feelings for human beings. If you love your cat so much that you post pictures of him every three seconds but you hyave no feelings for people that arent of contempt and disgust, you're a bad person and you're not needed.

- People who forget that common courtesy is a duty: If i ask you something nicely and you dont even takje the time to answer ina decent manner, you havfe to die. If i am working at a customer care, tech support or similar and i am being polite with you, and you act like a douche because your position makes you feel entitled to treat me like shit, you have to die. On the other side, if i am being reasonable but you dont listen cause youre following a script or cause you're taking out your undepraid frustration on me, you die. No one has the right to be rude, no matter what position they're in. No one has the right to be snarky or condescending. If you do, i dont need you.

- People who think apthy is a right: Participating in the workings of society is a duty. You have to work, to vote, to express your opinion and give a shit about what happens around you. Apathy is disgusting and apathy justified as a "right to not care" is even worse. Dont mask your inability to raise your fat ass froma cocuh and your lack of a soul and balls as some controversial statement making. You are in a democracy: act accordingly. People fight for the right to vote and be citizens, all rights that you seem not to give a fuck about. So either man up or disappear.

Feel free to comment.