Stuff That Actually Sucks: The Matrix

Whenever a discussions on pop-culture, music, movies starts you'll have to face people who have Sacred Cows. And i'm not talking about your usual nerds who defend Star Wars like they're Bible Thumper at a cross dressing club. I'm talking about normal people. Pay attention, every single person, unless they're one of those useless individuals that live like they're waiting to exhale, has an "untouchable" thing that, in their words "you cannot argue about".

And usually i like those, i am a hot blooded person like anyone else but sometimes i dont. Or years later i realize i really didnt but i succumbed to hype pressure and self convinced me i did.
And trying to explain my points usually ended up with being told "you dont get it", "you're trying to be controversial", "eat shit".

One HUGE example: The Matrix. No, not the sequels (which sucked for everyone). I mean the original. Some think it's the best movie of the century. Well.

When i saw it for the first time on the big screen when it came out, i was floored. It looked good back then. Flashy, fast, devoted to the worship of malking characters and action look cool. It had a plot that managed to be mysterious and elegant and a few very good ideas (or ideas thats eemed good).

After years, i re-watched it on blu-ray. It's ridiculous, glossy trash. And god, its BORING. Yes the action is cool but all it does is rehashing scenes that have been done a thousand times better in asian cinema. Look at John Woo's "Hard Boiled" or Ringo Lam's "Full Contact": slow motion, cameras that slow down and follow the flying bullet, gravity defying stunts. the bullet time look was cheesy back then and it got even more cheesy with its infinte replicas in following hollywood action movies, to reach self destruction in monstruosities a la "Wanted". The Hong Kong stylish action can still be rewatched today without feeling overblown and ridiculous. I cant watch any scene in Matrix without thinking that the movie manages to blow a lot of stuff up and still be still and stiff as a tree.

The story. Oh boy. I am not going to say its unrealistic. its sci-fi. I dopnt care about that. But how fucking pretentious it is. Taking elements from Philip K Dick and the whole movement of alternative sci-fi from the 60's/70's adding refrences to Alice in Wonderland and Zen philosophy sounds cool but not if all you do is mashing those things together and deliver a thing that no one really understands if they dont dweel on it foir days like lifeless dweebs. Its impossible to understand cause it makes no sense. It never did. The Wachowskis clearly had their ideas muddled and it showed even more when they decided to follow it up. Its full of silly flaws, fake twists, hints that go nowhere and plotholes. And its fucking boring.

The actors and characters (with the exception of Weaving as Agent Smith) are a bunch of uncharismatic morons. Trinity could be a hard ass lady but ends up looking like a fish in a latex suit. give me Sarah Connor any day.

There i said it. Seriously, read a philip k. dick book: Ubik, Palmer Eldritch, A scanner Darkly, The Man in The high Castle. Get an audiobook if you dont want to read. Watch "Full Contact", theres a dubbed version out there. Watch anything Oshii Mamoru has done (including "Ghost In The Shell"). He got ripped off big time, and his work is way better.

Then watch Matrix again and reflect. If you still like it, as an adult, good. But if you think it wasnt that good, just say it. thers nothing wrong with going against the herd.

Trust me, i dont like "Shawshank Redemption".

Humoredians: John F. O'Donnell

I discovered John F. O'Donnell on the Keith And The Girl show, where he hit me as maybe one of their most naturally funny, lively and smart guests of their roster.

Still it was his stand-up appearance in one of the KATG live shows that convinced me to become a JFOD-ian (as he once defined his fans in one of his delightful newsletters). I am a hardcore stand-up junkie (or nerd) and still, afetr digesting hundreds of comedy sets, i was left kinda speechless by John's brief but hyper-hilarious and incredfibly intense performance. The man has a unique style of comedy, a perfect timing and possibly a jaw dropping mind that boosts his jokes to a whole new level.

John made no mistery about his manic nature on KATG, but his energy, the lightning fast ability with which he seems to twist a topic into a whole genius bit after the other is something to behold. The three parter series of EP's "Live From Outer Space" that he gives away for free (but give him a supporting donation, be fair) are pieces of incredible improvistation, unique humour and crowd interaction. You'll laugh in awe, cause theres no way you could have heard another comedian who manages to create jokes so brave and mind-boggling while still being hilarious.

Also, i've been told that his "Into The Wild" show that he created and hosts is soemthing you have to see to believe. So drop him a line (hes a delightful dude too) and become a JFODIAN.

Theres the website for his EP's: http://www.livefromouterspace.com/

His Show's Page: http://www.intothewildcomedy.com/

And his MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/johnfodonnell

Podcasts That Are Worth Your Not-So-Precious Time: TiltedHaloCast

(Putting up a Dom La Fontaine Voice) In A World where radio shows and PodCasts are dominated by obnoxious males and girls that are mostly vapid wastes of flesh that have nothiung intersting to say, finally a show hosted by two smart, twisted and funny cuties with an opinion and a joke about everything. (Cough. Ok back to my delicious self)

Rhian And Victoria (which come from equally great podcasts as Audiobuzzed and Uncast) love to name themselves (on their own page) as "Fallen Angels". They are indeed angelic, with two sweet and sultry voices that are warm honey pured in your ear even when they're talking about bukkakes and poo. And in somehow they are also fallen as in they KNOW life. They'll talk about sex, weirdness, poc ulture, men, boys, music, more weirdness and they'll generally dismantle everything you think you know about a girl's mind while making you pee your pants with laughter.

You'll find yourself with a huge crush on both of them, blushing, laughing inappropriately anbd questioning yourself about having babies in space, side effects of excessive masturbation, stange penises and sweet moments of cuddles.

They got to episode eighteen and they deserve a million more listeners. Trust me (or dont and just obey me) and check their show out: its an iunjection of feelgood in the heart and ballz.

http://tiltedhalocast.com/

Comics For Non-Nerds: Ivan Brunetti

Yeah, you read that right: comic books are not only for nerds or eleitist douchebags. Well, sort- of. Ok, Lets say that its OK to be an elitist douche bag. Its more than ok. So lets talk about weird comics that you might love and that might become an addiction for you. Actually lets talk about artists that you shall look for.

Ivan Brunetti looks like a nice guy when you see him in pictures. He's friends with stand up comedians (like the always hip Patton Oswlat, for whom he designed the artwork for his latest stand-up album "My Weakness is Strong"), gives pleasant interviews and is usually described as a sweet guy but whoever talks about him.

So of course his art, as the demon unleashing medium that art can be, is sick, vitriolic, vicious, depraved and wrong. And hilarious for all the wrong reasons. If you're like me and love humour that is rooted in cruelty, depression and sickness, youll worship Ivan's work. His strips and panels are often based on unspeakable acts of sickness, extreme violence, insanity and humour so Black that it sucks light and oxygen out of reality. Or sometimes, he'll do a whole story about himself where he will rant about hopelessness, suicide and hatred. And still amanage to be hilarious.

Maybve its how everything in his drawing looks delightfully naive, like it came from the "Family Circus" world. His eviscerated, puppy killi9ng, rapist, necrophile characters look innocent and cute. unrealistic and gorgeously simple. Yet they do everything evil. Or maybe its the contrast between that and the chillingly funny one liners under them. It reminds me of a sunday paper comic coated in poison. Check him out, its worth it.

http://www.comicartcollective.com/brunetti/

It's not all vanilla - Infantilism

I am proud to be a pervert and i am also proud to be a pathologically curious.

One of the side effects of manic disorder is that to keep the brain under check, its better to focus on "stuff" and have lots of interests. Apathy breeds depression and depression breeds siuicidal attempts, substance abuse and episodes.

So, in my past recovery i developed an already existent iunterest towards everything thats weird, deviant, perverted and sick. Now, my sexual life is quite interesting but FAR from deviant. I have a couple of freaky kinks (say, a foot fetish, a love for ass play, a fascination for sub/dom relationships) but i'm way in the norm section of freakiness. So my interest in horrifyingly and mesmerizing sexual depravity is mostly due to my attraction towards the "dark stuff".

I have a beloved collection of books that explores such topics or the bizarre elements and places of the world. So i'll try to post a few of said information here and see if we can spark a discussion.

Peronally, a sexual fetish that completely turns my stomach upside down, even more than the much reviled furries, is infantilism.

Infantilism is a quite diffused fetish, that pushes grown men to have an attraction towards dressing as toddlers or having their partners dressed that way (more the former than the latter). And act like babies. Yes poop and piss included.

According to Jack Boulware's essential "San Francisco Bizarre" (a spectacular book about the most depraved and weird places of Frisco, that should be in every house more than the bible):

-There is an association called "The Diaper Pail fraternity" with over 12.000 subscribers and works as a mail order organization that sends diuapers, paraphernalia and an exhausting publication to his man-baby devotées.

-Their pubblication is riddled with adult baby themed stories with titles like "Elliott The Diaper Boy". Comic Books featuring a character called "Diaper-man". Hypnotic Tapes that help the listener to wet themselves when they hear a keyword

-Theres ton of ads for special diapers who focus on the softness and resistence of the product.

Seriously, i need to get air.

Ok seems that the fraternity recently died for lack of interest but the whole adult ababy movement is still thriving! Yay!

The Community Site!: http://www.adisc.org/forum/

Bands You Should Know: Trainwreck In Sarasota

Trainwreck In Sarasota is a one-man musical love-child by a nice guy named Rob.

Now dont let his gentle name fool you, the dude has skills with a guitar and a surprisingly rich voice, considering his relatively young age.

But personal points aside, he is one hell of a songwriter. His tunes go in the acoustic dark-folk tradition of modern indie songwriters like 16 Horsepower's David Eugene Edwardsor band like Son volt, Uncle Tupelo and Wilco. What sets them apart from the herd of guitar strummers today, im my really not humble opinion, is that they have soul.

The magical power of music which allows you to instantly feel what the musician was feeling in the brief moment of a song is on full display here. Rob sings about heartbreak and soul shattering things and you can hear it and have it in you with every note and nuance of his deep but qmotional (and at times, appalingly fragile) voice. His melodies are simple and still they get you by the guts and speak volumes.

He has a new EP out, you can sample his tunes and learn out to support him on his reverbnation page. Do it, hes a modern poet in his own terms and needs to play. He has talent.

http://reverbnation.com/trainwreckinsarasota

FML: Or How The Loosers Took Over...

Internet lingo has a singular irritating power to anyone, while still being infectious. That, in laymen term, means that i despised acronyms like "Lol", cause i'm a self absorbed pretentious prick but i ended up using them. Still theres a single set of letters that, to me symbolizes one of the most despicable, hideous aspects in people, lately. Three letters that are like a red flag for something seriously wrong, a social fucking disease.

FML=Fuck My Life.

If you hang out on FaceBook or Twitter, you'll see it often. Seems that everyone wants to have their life sexually abused. From my own personal experience, it mostly means theres an increasing need for attention. I think Internet didnt change people, all it did was bring to surface stuff that already was there, giving it a face, and a series of easily recognizable traits.

That acronym, used when someone needs people to pay attention to something bad that happened to them or a moment of debunking depression, just made one aspect louder than others. People whine. They always did, but never as lately, i have noticed how the absolute majority of social mediums like the forementioned Twitter are an endless parade of people screaming their sadness and their "depression" into other people's faces.

Also, the term "depression", "sadness" and "suicide" are being used in an appallingly wrong way.

Now, i dont wanna be the one who tells people to grow up or stop being pussies. Its not my place. But i havfe to give you a few points. I have been diagnosed with depression and bi-polar disorder in the past. I tried to kill myself repeatedly. Almost succeded. Went under therapy. Got under meds. The meds destroyed the symptoms but also destroyed my brain, made me a semi vegetable, barely able to concentrate or have emotions, deprived of libido, creativity and feelings. So i had to rebuild from that. detox from meds. Stil cannot sleep without chemical aid. Think about suicide daily. Have memory failures and physical ailments that come from that and make some stuff impossible to me.

But i hear everyday someone virtually screaming "FML, i should start using meds".

I have a dear, loved friend who fights daily with a debilitating chronic disease that makes her unable to move, stand or do anything that people do everyday. Still she hasnt lost an ounce of her hope and love for life. She has not only the strength to survive but spreads love and hope to people around her, making life better for them and helping them throug life's daily issues.

But everyday i hear someone scream "FML i have a cold, i want to die".

Stop.

To everyone who is surrounded by those people: do not give them symapthy or support, it would like giving a junkie his dose, just to have them shotting up onb your porch and steal your money. Those people do not need help. Their life is fine. They're not depressed, sad or depserate. All they need is attention. About everything. And all they give back is abuse. The subtle one, that doesnt leave scars.

They'll say they got hurt, but all they had is probably someoen realizing how negative they really are and running away from them. But they will find more people to suck the life out of.

Theyll complain about their job, money problems, health issues, technical stuff. But that probably means that they cannot buy a new iphone, that they have a cold that mom and dad arent buying groceries for them.

they have confort, love, moeny, a house, clothes, health. But they dont care. No matter how much youd give, in terms of care, love and sympathy, it will NEVER be enough. Theyll keep feeling entitled, complain to their circle of disciples and beg for listeners. They'll never be happy and they'll take happiness away from you. And then tweet about it.

So fuck their life. Seriously. Stop.