I know, at the right moment my fingers touched this black and vaguely dirty keyboard, that what i'm about to write is going to spark controversy.
But it's stuck in my head, so it has to come out, here.
I am tired of feminism. And not necessarily only the stronger form of feminism, the one a lot of people see to be annoyed from. I am also tired of the whole idea of how "female empowerment " has gone bad.
I am not a mysoginist, although i have been called one many times, even for the simple fact that i'm italian, swear i aint kidding on this one. I love women and i am sure that they are in general more intelligent and resourceful than man. But as any living being they are being fooled by a bunch of frustrated individuals who are making their own credo a truth and poisoning the naturale course of things, inesorably.
To clarify even more, men have that sort of venom in their brains too. Men think they should often adhere to male stereotypes, in order to calm down their own natural insecurity. And if they embrace their own emotions, often they fail in the opposite direction, becoming so obsessed by their own sensitivity that they forget that the male reisliency to emotions was there for a reason: to make us supportive. So we have men becoming catty, indifferent and cruel anbd forgetting to pay attention to their loved ones, obsessed on their own feelings and their own precious "me time".
But the new "post-feminist" tendency is, somehow, more dangerous and unsettling to me. I'll try to explain with a couple of examples.
- Edgy, offensive humour might not be for you. If that's the problem, then dont listen to it. Or ignore the joke foir what it is, a series of words that die as soon as they disappear. All jopkes are just jokes, no matter the subject. Most are unfunny, but that doesnt mean youy can ban them or use any chance you got to rant about "wrong humour" and using your own private experience to make that more right. Ok, you got abused, yes you have kids, yeah you were molested. It's all good, but a joke is a joke and if you go against one specific topic, youre rooting for censorship. The n eo-feminist movement is doing this more than the christians, muslims or ethnic groups. Yet they are automatically in the right. Why?
- Being "A mother" doesnt entitle you to become a moralist that always sticks her nose into other people's lives. You have a chils, focus on raising him or her right. Keep your eyes on that not on the power you seem to thrive on whenever you use your status of "mother" to ask for repression of other's rights, freedom and general quiet living. And in even in day to day actions: your being a mother doesnt give you special right or passes, no matter how much you rub your toddler in my face. The rule aplly to everyone, thats a society. Mothers arent special. Your children arent more special than others. You're still a person like the others.
- Being an empowered woman does not mean forgetting that men have needs too. So, if your partner nbeeds to be reassured about his insecurities or wants to be complimented, doing it wont make you less empowered, it will just make your relationship better. Pat our back once in a whilw, and we will follow you in the snow on bloody stumps. Instead i see too many girls and ladies who, in the name of some sort of misguided sense of femininity, belittle their loved ones, attack them when they ask a bit of nurtring, and use them as their own emotional trash can. In the name of female empowerment. It's not fair.
- There's nothing wrong with doing things that women have done for years.. The great step in social evolution is that now men have to do them too. A man who doesnt know how to cook, clean, dress well and be a devil in the bed, in other worse to worship his lover, isnt a real man. But a woman that refuses to do the same things can say that she refuses the stereotypes on women. And get away with it. I dated so many ladies who couldnt cook and had warped ideas about sexuality (the types of ideas where they werent supposed to seduce a partner but just stay there and wait) and they all became that way not out of laziness but (quote) "because they didnt want to conform to sexist stereotypes". Grow up, buttercup.